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Writer's pictureRadha Hilery

Fuck Fatigue


This is my least favorite part about being sick. People that have never experienced fatigue can't even comprehend what it feels like. Most healthy people confuse fatigue with being tired. Let me tell you, I am not tired. Tired to me means sleepy like I want to go to bed. Fatigue means every cell in my body is traveling in slow motion at a rate that feels painful, moving my body feels like air has turned to peanut butter hence every step I take feels like a huge effort, and I am not sleepy - my brain is going to be wide awake as I lay in bed suffering and uncomfortable. Some days I feel like a prisoner trapped inside my pain/fatigue body. 


I have no solution for fatigue. I can drink a quadruple shot of espresso with absolute zero change so caffeine is useless. I haven't found a food, a supplement, a routine, or any natural remedy that helps with it but I have found three things I take comfort in on my fatigue days.


One: Resting in bed with some upbeat movies or documentaries. Generally if I am fatigued, my brain is also out of commission. I lose the ability to focus so even if I try to work from bed - very minimal work gets done as I tend to just stare at the screen wondering what I was about to do.


Two: I like to lay down and take a hot shower. Sorry, I am just not a bath person and I love the feeling of the hot water beating down on my painful body but don't have the energy to stand. So I just do my shower yoga which includes easy pose, fetal position, reclined butterfly, and child's pose.


Three: I am grateful. I focus on how many good things I have in my life. Sometimes I will scroll through my own Instagram feed to remind me of all the adventures I have been on and the beautiful life I have lived. Other days I am just grateful Bodhi is snuggling me and I have the time and freedom to rest.


If you are struggling with fatigue, please reach out and say hello. Fatigue makes us isolate ourselves from the rest of the world both because we are too exhausted to explain it to anyone and there is a stigma around it that makes us seem weak. I know I don't tend to share it with people in my life. Isolation is not healthy. The more support we can create and tribes we can build, the more joy we can have despite our struggles. I truly believe that. And if you are on the opposite end and know someone that struggles with fatigue, there isn't much you can do but a simple gesture that can brighten up their day can go a long way. It could be as simple as a text message that simply says "I'm thinking about you." or a funny gif or video to make them giggle. I know I like to laugh as often as possible!

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Buzz...

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